View source for Field Guide to Homo Mortuus Transcript

''Scene: Various clips of old zombie movies in black and white''

'''Text:''' FIELD GUIDE TO: Homo Mortuus

'''Graham (V.O):''' A typical graveyard. While it may appear barren and uninhabited, few realise that the everyday graveyard can be host to a thriving ecosystem - that of the undead. While graveyards and cemeteries are the most common locations to find Homo Mortuus - or "zombies", they have been known to inhabit heavily wooded areas, shopping malls, junior and senior high schools, residential buildings, chemical weapons plants, lakeside cabins, carnivals, and nearly anywhere else their preferred prey can be found.

'''TEXT:''' HABITAT

'''Graham (V.O):''' Zombies have many distinct characteristics that differentiate them from living individuals. The most obvious to the casual observer is the shambling walk, and general appearance of confusion. Also combined with this is a blank stare. As zombies are no longer alive, it is common to see specimens with missing limbs and in various stages of decomposition. While having a mouth capable of tearing meat from bone, zombies lack any verbal language, and instead prefer to communicate through a series of groans and body language. It is often believed that, being dead, the Homo Mortuus is a slow moving species, but this is not always the case. Much like the mighty lion, given the right motivation...

'''TEXT:''' (DRAMATIZATION)

'''Graham (V.O) (continuing):''' ...such as the pursuit of escaping prey, a zombie can reach speeds approximating that of an adult human female with a broken high-heel.

'''TEXT:''' FEEDING HABITS

'''Graham (V.O):''' The zombies diet consists primarily of the flesh and brains of the living. Although some zombies are less discerning, they are usually only attracted to fresh, human meat. While they prefer to hunt with their bare hands and may not seem intelligent, zombies do posses rudimentary problem solving skills, and have been known to use simple tools. Some may see a diet consisting solely of human flesh to be a negative impact on society. But it is important to understand that even a zombie must fulfil its role in the circle of life, just as every living creature does.

'''TEXT:''' REPRODUCTION

'''Graham (V.O):''' Zombies reproduce asexually by attacking and injuring living humans, but not eating them. Humans that sustain an injury from a zombie will shortly turn into zombies themselves, thus ensuring the continuation of the species.

'''TEXT:''' DEFENSE

'''Graham (V.O):''' Zombies are dead, and therefore quite resilient. This natural defence mechanism of already being dead leaves them impervious to most attacks capable of killing living humans. The preferred approach to kill a zombie is by either removing the head, or destroying the brain. Fire also works quite well, as the zombies desiccated remains are largely devoid of moisture. This leads zombies to their natural fear of open flame.

'''TEXT:''' CONSERVATION

'''Graham (V.O):''' As a result of their close habitation with humans, zombies are often considered dangerous pests. This has caused them to be hunted almost to extinction. While a group of zombies can pose a threat if provoked, we must remember that in most cases, they're more afraid of us than we are of them. If the proper precautions are not taken, these noble and majestic creatures may soon be extinct. But with education and perseverance, the spectacle of the Homo Mortuus may be enjoyed by our children for generations to come.

'''TEXT:''' The END