View source for Friday Nights: Friday Transcript

Transcript for Friday Nights: [[Friday Nights: Friday|Friday]]

INT. LOADINGREADYRUN MOONBASE - AFTERNOON

''(JAMES TURNER and JEREMY PETTER are playing MAGIC. PAUL SAUNDERS and KATHLEEN DE VERE spectate.)''

'''James''': Really?

'''Jer''': Yup.

'''James''': Really.

'''Jer''': Mmmmmhm.

'''James''': Did you seriously just put a [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=191379 Time Warp] on a [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=47930 Panoptic Mirror]?

'''Jer''': Maaaybe.

'''James''': I don't wanna play anymore.

'''Jer''': Good! You don't get to. Untap...take another turn...pass the turn. Take another turn...pass the turn.

'''Paul''': You know, I'm really looking forward to going to Friday Night Magic. It'll give me a chance to test this deck against somebody who isn't you guys.

'''Kathleen:''': Uh, guys, it's 5:30. FNM starts in half an hour.

'''Matt Wiggins''': ''(entering)'' What?! I don't even have a standard deck ready!

''(ALL EXCEPT PAUL hurry off to get ready. Cut to a MONTAGE)''

'''Alex Steacy''': ''(sorting through some cards)'' I need a [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=234715 Teetering Peaks] over here!

'''Graham Stark''': I've only got the four I'm using.

'''Alex''': Dammit, man!

'''Kathleen''': I need Forests!

'''Jer''': Here, Forests!

'''Kathleen''': Eugh, these are ugly, only [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=95099 Ravnica Forests]!

'''Matt''': I need three [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=205098 Condemns] and a [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=190407 Shield of Emeria], stat!

'''Jer''': Sleeves. Four. Matte black. Now. ''(Is given some sleeves)'' These are glossy, how obviously are these glossy?!

''(The montage comes to a close and THE CREW walk into YELLOWJACKET COMICS in slow motion: GRAHAM, ALEX, KATHLEEN, JAMES, MATT, PAUL, and JER.

'''Dan Spiller''': You guys are here to sign up for FNM? ''(Music anticlimactically fades to the background)''

'''Graham''': Oh. Yes. Y-yes, yes we are.

'''Dan''': Cool. Um. Sign up. ''(places sheet on the desk)''

'''Graham''': Right. Yeah. ''(signs up, passes sheet to PAUL and waits awkwardly)''

{FRIDAY NIGHTS INTRO}

INT. YELLOWJACKET COMICS

'''Dan''': Alright everybody, thanks for coming to FNM, today we're gonna have a four-round Swiss, uh, starting at table one we're gonna have Adam and Graham, Ian and Grimshaw, Alex and Sol, Matt and Cam, Brett and Kathleen, Tally and Jess, James and Amber, Paul and Alasdair, and Jeremy...you get the bye. ''(JER shrugs. MATT disapproves.)''  

''(ALEX sits down for his game with SOL KAUFMAN)''

'''Alex''': ''Kaufman''.

'''Sol''': ''Steacy''.

'''Alex''': Roll for first?

'''Sol''': Like it's gonna change who wins.

'''Alex''': Mountain. [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=170987 Goblin Guide]. Swing for two.

'''Sol''': Mountain, Goblin Guide, attack for two.

'''Alex''': Declare for two, [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=177584 Arid Mesa], break for this Mountain, [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=218018 Shrine of Burning Rage].

'''Sol''': Uh, attack for two, Mountain, Shrine of Burning Rage?

'''Alex''': Second Goblin Guide, Teetering Peaks, swing for six.

'''Sol''': Uh, Mountain, [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=220298 Chandra's Phoenix], attack for four?

'''Alex''': End of turn [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=234704 Bolt], untap, swing for four, [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=193512 dome you] for two, break the Shrine, dome you for three? ''(SOL inhales sharply)'' You lose, game two?

'''Sol''': Alright, I play first. 

'''Alex''': ''(staring crazily)'' I see you read the same decklist I did.

'''Sol''': Mountain.

'''Alex''': Mountain? Goblin Guide? Swing for two?

'''Sol''': Bolt your Goblin Guide, untap, foil [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=221523 Dragon's Claw].

'''Alex''': Really.

'''Sol''': Yep.

'''Alex''': Really?

'''Sol''': Yes.

'''Alex''': I ''scoop''?

'''Sol''': Secret sideboard tech for the mirror. ''(ALEX headdesks)''

''(GRAHAM is playing his first round game with ADAM SAVIDAN)''

'''Adam''': ...and five, six, [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=235192 Inferno Titan], three damage to you, go.

'''Graham''': ''(in his boxing announcer voice)'' AND...

'''Adam''': Oh, my god.

'''Graham''': IN THIS CORNER...WEIGHING IN AT SIX/SIX...THE BIG, FLAMING GIANT...INFERNO TITAN!

'''Adam''': Really, Graham? Come on, like...

'''Graham''': AND HE'S JUST WON...A ONE-WAY TICKET ON...A [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=247547 JOURNEY TO NOWHERE]!

'''Adam''': You know, it was kinda funny the first time, but it's reeeally starting to get old.

'''Graham''': WELL, WHAT YA GONNA DO ABOUT IT?

'''Adam''': Well, I will [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=271225 Fling] the Inferno Titan at your big, stupid mouth.

'''Graham''': Oh.

''(MATT and PAUL are waiting for the next round)''

'''Matt''': Hey, Paul. You done round one already?

'''Paul''': Yeah, yeah! I won! I note that you are also done round one already.

'''Matt''': Yeah! I - lost.

'''Paul''': Oh.

'''Matt''': He pulled out the new [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=254107 Jace] on me, and it was just like "Matt Wiggins, welcome to Milltown, population: all of your cards". And just as I was about to slaughter him with angels.

'''Paul''': Wait wait, "mill town"?

'''Matt''': Oh, yeah, Magic has got this long and confusing history of naming abilities after the first card to do a thing, so back in the day the [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=129643 "Millstone"] used to put cards straight from your library into the graveyard. Now it's just "milling"

'''Paul''': Oh ok, so that's like how we call conceding because your opponent is a jerk "playing against Matt".

'''Matt''': Who calls it that?

'''Paul''': Well, nobody does ''yet''. But I think it could really catch on.

'''Dan''': Alright people, pairings for round two, pairings for round two.

''(KATHLEEN is now playing against JAMES)''

'''Kathleen''': I cast the [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=198167 Mul Daya Channelers].

'''James''': In response, I Bolt it.

'''Kathleen''': In response, I am sad.

'''James''': Ok. Your sadness goes on the stack, and resolves first, but then you have no target for your sadness, so it fizzles, then my Bolt goes off, and you have to be happy about it. ''(KATHLEEN bares her teeth in an unsettling caricature of a smile)''

{LATER}

'''Graham''': James. Jamesjames. Check out what I just pulled.

'''James''': A [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=214035 Knowledge Pool], so what.

'''Graham''': It's a ''Japanese'' Knowledge Pool. They're so much cooler, it's all...anime.

'''James''': Ok, what's a Knowledge Pool do, again?

'''Graham''': Uh, well, whenever I discard...no, sorry, whenever I ''cast a spell'' I discard, and then I...no. Uh...anytime ''anyone'' casts a spell, they exile it, and then it moves...clockwise...''(pulling out phone)'' I'ma look at what it does in English, hang on...well, that's no help!

'''Dan''': ''(offscreen)'' Round three, people!

'''James''': Oh, you coming?

'''Graham''': Uh, no, I'm not doing very well tonight, I'm gonna find some people to draft with, hopefully someone who speaks Japanese...or speaks rules...

'''James''': Good luck.

''(PAUL sits down to face JER)''

'''Paul''': Alright, all I need to do to be in prizes is beat you.

'''Jer''': All I need to do to get better prizes than I'm already gonna get is beat you.

'''Paul''': So you're not gonna let me win this, huh?

'''Jer''': Not without a fight.

'''Paul''': Excellent. Forest, [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=233052 Glistener Elf].

'''Jer''': [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=190414 Emeria]...

'''Paul''': Forest, attack, [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=289213 Giant Growth]. Four poison.

'''Jer''': Plains, [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=271151 Kor Spiritdancer].

'''Paul''': [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=197785 Smouldering Spires], Spiritdancer can't block, swing, [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=213778 Unnatual Predation], [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=193998 Groundswell]. Ten poison.

'''Jer''': Alright. Wow. Game two. Plains, [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=193598 Student of Warfare].

'''Paul''': Forest, Glistner Elf.

'''Jer''': Plains, Kor Spiritdancer, two creatures up now.

'''Paul''': Forest.

'''Jer''': Plains and a [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=220116 Mesa Enchantress].

'''Paul''': Teetering Peaks, [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=194208 Apostle's Blessing] naming White, Groundswell, two [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=233070 Mutagenic Growths].

'''Jer''': Wow. That seems like a deck that would need a good opening hand to win consistently.

'''Paul''': Yeah, but when it does, ''wow''.

'''Jer''': Touche.

'''Dan''': Alright guys, thank you all for coming, uh, the final standings are as follows. We have Grimshaw; first place, you get eight packs. Sol; second place, you get six packs. We have Paul; first tournament ever, you get five packs...

'''Paul''': ''(Hands aloft)'' Yes!

'''Dan''': And Jeremy; at fourth, you also get five packs.

INT. LOADINGREADYRUN MOONBASE - THAT EVENING

''(GRAHAM and PAUL sit on the basement couch)''

'''Graham''': Nice job, Paul.

'''Paul''': Yeah, that was awesome.

'''Graham''': Ok, here's a Magic quiz for you: who would win in a fight between [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=201231 Stangg] and a Stangg Twin token?

'''Paul''': What? That doesn't...oh, where are the other guys? I thought they were behind us.

'''Graham''': Oh, no, most of them stayed behind to draft.

'''Paul''': Oh. How do you draft, anyway?

'''Graham''': W-

'''Jer''': ''(Suddenly on the couch)'' Did somebody say, "how do you draft, again?"

'''Graham''': I thought you were staying behind.

'''Jer''': I was, but I can take a match loss, whatever. Ok, so you take all the packs you won at FNM, and then find ideally five or seven of your friends. ''(slow fade)'' You all sit around a table, everyone take three packs, you all open the first pack, and...

{CREDITS}
[[Category:Transcripts]]