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{{Quicktime|
Link=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmh--s18QT0
}}
According to your new mortician, you are not dead.
According to your new mortician, you are not dead.


==Vital Statistics==
==Vital Statistics==
[[Image:93.jpg|thumb]]
[[Image:93.jpg|300px|thumb]]
'''Date:''' January 28, 2005  
{{ReleaseDate|January 28, 2005}}


'''Category:''' Music
{{EpisodeCategory|Music}}


'''Appearing:''' [[Andy]]
{{AppearanceBy|Andrew Cownden}}


'''Writing:''' Andy
{{WrittenBy|Andrew Cownden}}


'''Music:''' Andy
{{MusicBy|Andrew Cownden}}


'''Camera:''' [[Graham]]
{{ShootingBy|Graham Stark}}


'''Editing:''' Graham
{{EditedBy|Graham Stark}}


'''Location:''' Andy's Front Hall
{{Location|Andy's Front Hall}}


==Synopsis==
==Synopsis==
Andy performs a showtune he wrote himself.
Andy performs a showtune he wrote himself.
==Lyrics==
Well I’m not much one for drinking, and I'll tell you rightly why.
I drank myself unconscious on the last first of July.
Imagine my surprise when I woke up in the morgue in a small refrigerator two by six.
And my humiliation,
When I came to realization;
This was one of cousin Hoover’s dirty tricks.
Hung over and depressed I finally came to a decision,
About my current state of shock.
I’d consult my new mortician.  (Wait for it.)
At least you’re not dead.
That’s what my coroner said.
Keep your feet on the ground,
And your heart safe and sound,
With your neck firmly glued to your head.
At least you’re not croaked,
And had your life license revoked. (That’s a stretch I know.)
Teach your cousin Hoover the Heimlich maneuver,
And make sure you don’t end up choked.
I knew a hypochondriac named Beth.
Who found she was a trifle short of breath.
She thought that she was sick,
So she hurried double quick,
To the doctor with a classic case of death.
Said the doctor, "You're asthmatic,
And that’s nothing short of tragic,
But it’s hardly rigamortis,
And the problem of the sort is,
Nothing but a crimson herring,
To the issue that is bearing,
Down upon your disillusioned little mind.
There’s more to life than sickness you’ll find.
Would you rather be a cadaver in a custom tailored box,
Then be breathing and believing you’re as healthy as an ox?"
Well,
At least you’re not dead.
That’s what my coroner said.
Keep your feet on the ground,
And your health safe and sound,
With your neck firmly glued to your head.
At least you’ve not kicked the bucket.
And told the whole world to Fff… screw it.
Cause to take your own life in a moment of strife,
Is too painful so trust me don’t do it.
At least you're not six feet under,
With your cranium cracked asunder.
It's much better to be an intact entity,
With the rest of your life left to wonder.
Why me?
I saw that life was not so bad and really could be nice.
I undertook my undertaker’s good advice.


==Behind the Scenes==
==Behind the Scenes==
"I wrote the majority of this song while standing on a street corner in downtown Victoria. I was a sandwich border,which means I stood outside all day with a sign around my neck advertising a restaurant. I had a nice boss and nice hours, but standing in the same place for six hours a day doing absolutely nothing is bound to depress anybody. So, I wrote a song about it. Also, if I ever get around to it, this song will appear in a musical I'm writing." - Andy
"I wrote the majority of this song while standing on a street corner in downtown Victoria. I was a sandwich boarder, which means I stood outside all day with a sign around my neck advertising a restaurant. I had a nice boss and nice hours, but standing in the same place for six hours a day doing absolutely nothing is bound to depress anybody. So, I wrote a song about it. Also, if I ever get around to it, this song will appear in a musical I'm writing." - Andy


==Triva==
==Triva==
* Andy, who claims he can not play the piano, also played the piano version of the LoadingReadyRun intro in this video.  
* Andy, who claims he can not play the piano, also played [[Weekly Videos With Non-Standard Intros|the piano version of the LoadingReadyRun intro]] for this video.
 


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Latest revision as of 01:19, 6 August 2023


{{{Size}}}

This video link for this video on LoadingReadyRun is a Quicktime format file hosted on LRR. This was LRR's primary form of video hosting from 2003 to 2006, before the emergence of Revver, Blip or LRR's primary use of Youtube. Most modern browsers no longer support playing Quicktime videos. The video can be downloaded from the main page or viewed off of the main LRR site here.

According to your new mortician, you are not dead.

Vital Statistics

Date: January 28, 2005

Category: Music

Appearing: Andrew Cownden

Writing: Andrew Cownden

Music: Andrew Cownden

Camera: Graham Stark

Edited by: Graham Stark

Location: Andy's Front Hall

Synopsis

Andy performs a showtune he wrote himself.

Behind the Scenes

"I wrote the majority of this song while standing on a street corner in downtown Victoria. I was a sandwich boarder, which means I stood outside all day with a sign around my neck advertising a restaurant. I had a nice boss and nice hours, but standing in the same place for six hours a day doing absolutely nothing is bound to depress anybody. So, I wrote a song about it. Also, if I ever get around to it, this song will appear in a musical I'm writing." - Andy

Triva


Season Two     Music

◀ ●∙∙∙Extreme Battle Challenge     The Bright Young Newcomer ∙∙∙● ▶
Watch At Least You're Not Dead on LRR     Discuss At Least You're Not Dead on LRR

    At Least You're Not Dead Lyrics