Nsburg

Scenic nsburg is the rural North American home to QWRP and its popular morning show, Qwerpline. It is a part of Therpston County, which also features the town of Jewelsburg.

Nsburg Trivia

• Landlocked since the 1870's
• Raccoon pelts may be turned in place of paying taxes

Notable Citizens

Present:

• Mayor - Dedicates potholes on Highway 3
• Ball Hinkley - Local Business Owner, runs an organic perfume business (featuring Vanilla Muskrat, Wet Wool, Dust Finger, Mist up Ladder, Ray Ramano). Had a booth at the Harvest Festival
• Granton Bumper - Owner of Bumper Crops, and known for growing prize-winning radish (singular)
• Lorna Schlitzwhistle - Unmarried, overly concerned about the wireless radio signals in town (the weefees), that allegedly upset her bees. Crafts anti-weefee dreamcatchers to filter out toxins; sells them on Etsy and at festivals.
• Officer Steve - nsburg Police Department
• Old Country Jam Maker - Immigrant from Old Country, makes various jams: strawberry (actually beets), blackberry (actually blackberry ashes), peach (actually imported centipedes)
• Ralph - nsburg Geological Society
• Raphael Crinklestouf - Inventor, attempting to standardize feces as a fuel source.

Past:

• Sandra Jackhammer - Featured in the movie "Jackin' It"

Organizations

• Berk Scouts
• Girl Scouts - Known for their record-breaking fundraising and firearms expertise
• nsburg Geological Society
• nsburg Geological Survey
• nsburg Haz-Mat
• nsburg Police Department
• nsburg Tourism Board - Actively creating new slogans to bring tourists to the town. Slogans include:
  • "Home of the Tigers!" (1965) - Named after the nsburg Municipal Zoo obtained a tiger
  • "Turnip Capital of Therpston County!"
  • "The Jewel of Therpston County" - Not to be confused with the neighboring town of Jewelsburg
  • "City of Lawns!" (1987) - Awarded after the town completed its second lawn
• Secret Pipesman Lodge - Not really that secret, stores time capsules

Locations

• Communal Pool - Beware the Raccoons
• The Esplanade
• Free Blackberry Patches
• High School
• Megaplex Movie Theater - A Family Theater
• Municipal Town Hall - Actually town hall
• nsburg Municipal Zoo - Unveiled tigers in 1965, returned them in 1997
• Pool Hall (aka "Town Hall") - Not the real town hall
• QWRP Studios - Home of Qwerpline! Uses a two-story tall antenna to broadcast. Has access to a Mobile Broadcast Van, a traffic helicopter and a bio-diesel powered fan boat for reporting on stories.
• Sump Acres
  • East - Sewage stream (salty)
  • West - Home to many, many children

Geography

Natural features:

• Shaughnessy River - Known for its beavers, ducks and shoes

Notable streets and roads:

• Berbershire Drive (Highway 3)
• Crescent Crescent (Highway 3)
• Highway 3 - Heritage Site. Known for its potholes, to which celebrities have been honored with keys. Potholes were recently lost, and then discovered to have moved to the Shaughnessy. Sidewalks have been blown up.
• Shaughnessy Highway/Interstate - Built on a floodplain, major trucking Route. During the flooding, was referred to as the Shaughnessy River II. After the floodwater receded, it was discovered that the Berbershire potholes had reappeared here!

Local Businesses

• Huffer Pharmachemicals
• Johnny Jensen's All-You-Can-Eat Technically Meat Buffet
• Pass n Gas - Full "Serve"
• Talc Barn - Near Highway 3 - Farm with the weird looking cow

Local Musicians

• Tom McGee's Chamonix Harmony - Barbershop Quartet

Local Sports

• nsburg Talcum Puffs - High School Field Hockey. 2014 Therpston County Champions. Coached by Dr. Mcfeels, formerly Chet Buntsman. Sponsored by Talc Barn. Are the rivals of the Jewlsburg Diamonds.

QWRP FM

Staff & Contributors:

• Graham (G-Money/G-Fresh) - Co-host
• Alex "A-Train" - Co-host, unmarried, cousin had swampleg, former roadworker
• Derek - Summer Intern. He's 19! Moved to nsburg with parents, joined Berk Scouts. Jewish
• Sadie Casperson - Meteorologist. Married to the Lottery ballsman. Has a cat named Mr. Wigglebutt who competes in Freestyle Fluff, Synchronized Comb-Off
• Edith Slump - It's the Arts! Thrilled to be here. Also presents the Book Hutch.
• Richter Hammockslam - Pilot of the QWRP Traffic Qwopter and QWRP Traffic Fan Boat (powered by biodiesel (ie: french fries))
• Chet Buntsman - Sports Report. Formerly a high school coach, known to be overly emotional before games.
• Murial - Old wife, lives in closet in QWRP Studios

Annual Events

• nsburg Harvest Festival - Features the annual Gerbil Beauty Pageant

Recent Events

• Flooding of the Shaughnessy Highway (renamed Shaughnessy River II), prevented goods from being transported (importantly gas and oil). Caused by beavers damming the river. When the floodwaters receded, it was discovered that the Berbershire potholes had reappeared on the Shaughnessy Highway.