Viking Secret Wildcard Poker

The game of champions!

Overview

Viking Secret Wildcard Poker is a sport played by an extensive group of gamblers, well enjoyed in Las Vegas. It is a game of skill, especially when rubber chickens are involved.

In VSWP, each player is dealt two cards face down. These are known as the "Pit cards." These cards are combined with several face-up community cards (or card stacks) which are dealt to the middle of the table in a set sequence between betting rounds. The value of a player's hand is based on the best five-card hand they can produce using both of their Pit cards and three of the community cards.

VSWP is a rapidly evolving game, due to the fact that anyone is allowed to introduce new rules and twists on the game at any time, except while the game is in play. There are a few rules and requirements governing the introduction of new rules:

Rules on Making Rules

1. No rule can contradict another rule that has already been added and approved.

2. Rules may deal with cards and game pieces from different games (e.g. Magic: the Gathering, Clue, Uno, etc.), but must not make those other cards or game pieces a REQUIREMENT for playing the game. In other words, you can say that Elder Dragon Vaevictus Asmadi has a certain effect on the game, but you cannot say that "In this stage of the game, each player must draw one MtG card." This is because not all players will have access to all types of game pieces.

3. No rule may make the game unplayable, or make an interpretation of the rule impractical to the point that the game cannot be logically continued.

4. If a rule is in dispute at the beginning of a game of VSWP, that rule will not be considered active for the duration of the game.

5. Rules must have some practical impact on the game, and cannot be merely aesthetic.

6. Don't make stupid rules.

7. When inventing terminology, the scientific names for the human anatomy must maintain their original meaning. For example, rules may exist that incorporate the words "nuts", "balls", "'nads", or "junk", but "testicles" always refers to the male reproductive organ. This is to eliminate confusion.

8. No rule can be introduced or removed during a game. The official rule list for a game is locked to revisions at the time the game begins.

(More to come as/when problems arise, I'm sure.)

Required Game Pieces

Viking Secret Wildcard Poker requires the following game pieces.

• One deck of regular playing cards.

Other game pieces may be involved in the game if available, but are not vital; the game can be played without them. Some of these game pieces include

• A deck of UNO cards.

• A deck of game cards from the game Clue.

• Assorted cards from Magic: the Gathering.

• A deck of cards from Happy Families.

• A rubber chicken.

The Rules

Assembling the Cards

Every player is dealt an equal portion of the chips or betting items.

The cards being used should be combined into one General Deck, with the following exceptions:

• Clue cards must be separated into separate piles for Suspects, Weapons, and Locations.
• Magic: The Gathering cards must be separated into a separate pile.

The General Deck is used for all general dealing, including Pit cards, the Knuckle, general cards in the Flaps, and the Pants card. (Depending on the materials present, certain position in the Flaps will be dealt from different piles. For example, if Clue cards are present, then the fourth item in the Flaps consists of a three-card stack drawn from the piles of Clue cards.)

The Dealer

The Dealer is in charge of dealing Pit cards and community cards, enforcing rules, and settling disputes. In any and every situation, the Dealer's judgement and interpretation of the rules is always to be complied with and upheld.

Order of Play

ROUND 1

First, the Pit cards are dealt from the General Deck.

Following this, the first betting round begins. The first player to bet is the player two seats to the right of the dealer button. Betting progresses counter-clockwise around the table. Options are to bet, check, or fold.

Once a bet has been made, the value of that bet becomes the base bet value for that round. For example, if Player 2 checks and Player 3 bets 1000 chips, then 1000 chips is the base bet value for the remainder of Round 1.

Following a bet, players who have not folded have the option of folding, calling the bet and matching its total, or raising by introducing a Bet Multiplier (BM). (For information on the sequence and values of Bet Multipliers, see below.) Further players can, again, fold, call, or introduce the next Bet Multiplier in the sequence.

Round 1 ends when all players have either folded or matched the highest BM that was introduced. All chips that have been bet now become part of the pot.

ROUND 2

After this, it's on to the first community card, the Knuckle. This is a single card dealt face up in the center of the table. If cards from Magic: The Gathering are being used, then the Knuckle is dealt from the M:tG pile. Otherwise, the Knuckle is taken from the General Deck.

Another betting round follows, with the same procedure as in Round 1. However, the initial bet of Round 2 must be at least as high as the base bet value of Round 1. (That is, if the base bet value of Round 1 was 1000 chips, then the initial bet of Round 2 must be 1000 chips or higher.)

ROUND 3

Following this, the Flaps is dealt. The Flaps involves four cards or four card stacks dealt face-up into the center of the table, beside the Knuckle.

If "Clue" cards are being used in the game, then the fourth item of the Flaps must be a stack of Clue cards including a Suspect, a Weapon, and a Room. If included in a final five-item hand, a stack of Clue cards is considered a single item.

Another betting round ensues. The initial bet value must be at least as high as the base bet value of Round 2.

Once betting for Round 3 has been concluded, the players turn their Pit cards face up before the final community card is revealed.

ROUND 4

The final card is the Pants card, dealt from the General Deck. This card can make or break the game.

At this point, point values are calculated and the winner is determined.

After the chips have been awarded to the winner, the Dealer button advances by one seat in the order of play.

Scoring/Ranking Hands

The ranking of hands is determined by point values. Every card or card stack is tied to either a base value, a multiplier value, or a special effect. The final point value of a five-card hand is calculated by adding the values of the Base Value cards, then applying Special Effects, then multiplying the resulting point value by the sum of the accumulated points multipliers in the hand.

The player who can make the five-item hand with the highest point value--using two Pit cards and three community cards--once all cards have been dealt is the winner of the hand.

Card Types

Base Value Cards

• Numbered cards from a regular card deck or from an UNO deck have a base value equal to their number. (The ten of spades has a base value of ten; the six of diamonds has a base value of six.) Aces are not considered "numbered cards."

Combos

• If a five-card hand contains a "pair," or two base-value cards of the same number, then the base values of both of those cards is doubled.

• If a five-card hand contains a "three of a kind," or three base-value cards of the same number, then the base values of those three cards are tripled.

• If a five-card hand contains a "four of a kind," or four base-value cards of the same number, then the base values of those four cards are quadrupled.

• If a five-card hand contains a "five of a kind," or five base-value cards of the same number, then the base values of those five cards are quintupled.

• If a five-card hand contains three or more base-value cards in sequence (e.g. a three, a four, and a five), then the base values of those cards are multiplied by the number of cards in the sequence. For example, a sequence of 3, 4, 5, and 6 would have a total base value of (3 + 4 + 5 + 6) x 4 = 72.

Points Multiplier Cards

• Face cards from a regular deck are points multiplier cards. Jacks have a multiplier value of 2, Queens have a multiplier value of 3, and kings have a multiplier value of 4.

• An Ace doubles the value of the player's highest base-value card. For example, if a player is holding a ten and a four, and a King and an Ace are in the community cards, then the point value of those four cards would be ((10 x 2) + 4) x 4 = 96.

• A Joker is an anti-wild card. If a Joker is present in your hand, you must cancel the effect of one other Special Effect card in your hand. It is the player's choice which Special Effect card will be cancelled. If a player is holding a Joker in their Pit cards and another Joker is dealt in the Flaps, then that player has suffered a Squashed Spin and is not able to advance any Bet Multipliers for the rest of the hand.

• If a Reverse card from UNO is dealt into any player's Pit Cards, the player must wait until dealing has been completed, then immediately turn the Reverse card face-upwards in front of himself or herself. Another card will then be dealt to that player as a replacement Pit Card. The playing of a Reverse card in this fashion reverses the order of betting for the remainder of the hand. Likewise, if at any point a Reverse card is dealt into the community cards, all betting for the remainder of the hand will be reversed in order.

• "+2" cards from an UNO deck add two points to the base value of every other card with a base value in the player's five-card hand.

• If an UNO wild card is dealt into the community cards, all players remaining in the hand must either fold or place all of their chips into the pot, regardless of whether their opponent(s) are able to match their bet. If an UNO wild card is dealt on the Pants, then all of the players remaining must award all of their chips to the winner of the hand--they cannot fold.

Happy Families Cards

Happy Families cards are mixed into the General Deck.

Happy Families cards are divided into four categories: Husbands, Wives, Sons, and Daughters. These cards add a base value to all points multiplier cards, including themselves. The base value added to a multiplier card is equal to that card's multiplier. Husbands have a multiplier of 4, Wives have a multiplier of 3, and Sons have a multiplier of 2. Daughters have a multiplier equal to the highest other multiplier card in the player's five-item hand. If no other multiplier cards are present, the Daughter has a multiplier value of 1 (and, therefore, a base value of 1).

Happy Families Special Effects

If any member of the following families shows up in the community pile, the corresponding effect must occur. If any player cannot comply with the effect, they must fold.

• Hearty, the Captain - For the rest of the round, all players, announcers, dealers, and anyone else present must speak with a Pirate accent.

• Snuffet, the Undertaker - Any players carrying a picture of a deceased loved one must fold.

• Hardwatch, the First Mate - TREASON ON THE HIGH SEAS: All players move two positions clockwise, and take the previous person's hand. Please clarify: what happens if players have already folded? Suggestion: All players remaining in the hand must pass their Pit cards to the active player on their left.

• Snoot, the First Class Passenger - Player must now bet double in order to match other player's bets.

• Stitches, the Sailmaker - Cloth items added to the pot are now worth double their appraised value.

• Bacon, the Butcher - For the rest of the round, all players, announcers, dealers, and anyone else present must speak with a MAN VOICE! HAA! (Note: A Pirate Accent counts as a Man Voice.) Any Female players present must fold.

• Block, the Barber - All players must do a saving throw v. Sweeny Todd. Anyone who fails the saving throw must fold. This rule is poorly defined, and makes dice a requirement for playing the game, though not all players will have access to dice. Please revise. Consider mirroring the Bacon the Butcher rule in this rule, but with the genders reversed.

• Bung, the Brewer - All players must take a shot. This rule violates the rule-making rule that rules must not make other materials a requirement. Players cannot be forced to fold if they are not using alcohol as part of the game. Please revise.

• Constable, the Policeman - Any player not wearing sunglasses must don them. This rule violates the rule-making rule that rules must not make other materials a requirement. Players cannot be forced to fold if they do not have access to sunglasses. Please revise.

Clue Cards

When Clue cards are in play, they are dealt as part of the Flaps. A Clue card stack consists of a Suspect, a Weapon, and a Room. Different combinations result in different effects. The effects of these combinations are outlined below. If there is no specific effect outlined for a particular combination, then that combination is not considered to have any effect on the game.

• If both Professor Plum and the Library are present, then much new knowledge is gained. All players remaining in the hand must immediately place one of their Pit cards (of their choice) face up on the table in front of them.

• If both the Knife and the Kitchen are present. All players remaining in the hand are dealt one new Pit card from the General Deck. They may now use any two of their three Pit Cards, in combination with three community cards, to make their final five-card hand.

• If both Mr. Green and the Revolver are present, then the player who would have been next to play must fold.

Magic: The Gathering Cards

When M:tG cards are involved in the game, they are formed into a separate pile and dealt into the Knuckle position.

Unless otherwise specified, a monster has a base value equal to its mana cost, and land cards add a base value of 2 to all other regular base value cards in the player's five-item hand.

Uno Cards

• If a Skip card is dealt to a player's Pit Cards, the player may play the Skip Card face up in front of him instead of checking during any bet. The player does not get a replacement card.
• If a Skip Card is dealt in the Flaps, the dealer discards the next card dealt, and then continues to deal as normal. A Skip Card has no effect if dealt as the final card in the flaps, or if dealt in the Pants.
• If a Wild or Wild Draw Four is dealt to the Community cards, the dealer may optionally chose a color (Red, Green, Blue or Yellow). If the dealer does not announce a color for the card, it is not regarded to have one.
• If a Wild Card is dealt to a player's Pit cards, the player may chose any value (0-9) and any color/suit (Red, Green, Blue, Yellow, Diamonds, Spades, Clubs, Hearts) for the card.
• If a Draw Two card is dealt during the Flaps, the dealer will deal one additional Pit Card to each player from the current deck, and deal one additional Flaps card (from any deck). They may now use any two of their three Pit Cards, in combination with three community cards, to make their final five-card hand.

Bet Multipliers

Bet Multipliers are VSWP's equivalent of raises. Once a player has made a bet, the next player has the option of introducing one of the next Bet Multipliers in the branching sequence (which is outlined below). A BM is introduced by speaking the appropriate multiplier word and/or making the appropriate hand gesture.

Bet Multipliers increase the value of the required bet to stay in the hand. They do not stack; they are advancements of the same multiplier. In other words, if the base bet value of the round is 1000 chips, and the highest BM reached is Double Indemnity (x5), then in order to call, players must be willing to put 5000 chips into the pot.

If a player attempts to apply one of the next BMs in the sequence, but speaks the wrong word or makes the wrong hand gesture, then that player is forced to fold: they forfeit their hand and any chips they have bet so far and cannot play until the next hand is dealt.

BET MULTIPLIER SEQUENCE

Bet Multiplier Sequence

There is a branching path of Bet Multipliers that may be introduced.

• The first Bet Multiplier is always Spin (x2).

• Spin may be followed by Alpha (x3) or Beta (x4).

• Alpha may be followed by Double Indemnity (x5) or Splish (x7).

• Beta (x4) may be followed by Trimp (x6) or Alphonse (x8).

• Double Indemnity may be followed by Splish (x7) or Accidental Death (x15).

• Trimp may be followed by Splish (x7) or Twist (x13).

• Splish may only be followed by Splash (x11).

• Alphonse may be followed by Jealous Lover (x12) or Twist (x13).

• Splash may be followed by Flip (x16) or Jimmy (x18).

• Jealous Lover may only be followed by Accidental Death (x15). If an Elder Dragon is among the community cards, Jealous Lover cannot be followed and no further advancements are possible.

• Twist may only be followed by Flip (x16).

• Accidental Death can only be called. No further advancements are possible unless Mrs. Bun the Baker's Wife is among the community cards. If a card with a picture of a woman is on the table, then Accidental Death may be followed by Meat Pie (x17).

• Flip may only be followed by Jimmy (x18). If fewer than three base value cards are among the community cards, then Flip may be followed by Gargle (x20).

• Meat Pie can only be called. If a player makes a Meat Pie advancement, he or she must place one finger in his or her mouth until the conclusion of that round's betting.

• Jimmy can only be called. Players wishing to call a Jimmy advancement must cup their hands around their mouth and cry, "Jimmy, where are you?"

• Gargle can only be called.

Bet MULTIPLIER VALUES AND HAND GESTURES (Needs hand gesture descriptions for all BMs.)

Spin: x2 (A rotation of the index finger of either hand. Players lacking index fingers may rotate their necks)

Alpha: x3 (A sideways gesture with the middle and index fingers of either hand with palm facing towards the player making the gesture)

Beta: x4

Double Indemnity: x5 (A wave of either hand in front of the face with all five fingers spread and palm facing towards the player making the gesture)

Trimp: x6

Splish: x7 (A wave motion using the left arm crossing over to the right)

Alphonse: x8

Splash: x11 (A wave motion using the right arm crossing over to the left)

Jealous Lover: x12

Twist: x13 (A twisting motion with both fists brought close together and clenched. Players may find it helpful to imagine performing a Chinese burn upon the opponent)

Accidental Death: x15

Flip: x16 (A motion with either hand where the hand is placed with the palm facing downwards before flipping briefly so the palm is face up and then returned to the original position)

Meat Pie: x17

Jimmy: x18

Gargle: x20 (The player must say the word 'gargle' and keep an absolutely expressionless and immobile face while doing so. If judgement is needed as to whether the face was kept emotionless the Dealer will consult a picture of Keanu Reeves and compare it to the player)

Specialty Rules

1. (THIS RULE BREAKS THE RULE THAT RULES MUST NOT MAKE PIECES FROM OTHER GAMES A REQUIREMENT FOR PLAYING. PLEASE REVISE.) On an Uno card river draw, all players require additional Jenga pylons. The last player to attain additional pylons from the Jenga stack must play one handed (lesser preferred) for the next hand, mirrored by the fact the player will also play with one dealt card rather than two.

2. If a copy of The One Ring[1] is drawn at any time, a second card is played atop it, upside down, only to be revealed after all players have called. Any copy of this card revealed at any time after the call means a loss for any affected players -- except when it happens to the river card, in which case the face value for all Clue cards is tripled.

3. If a blue Uno card is played in the Flaps, the value of all Clue cards, whether in the community cards or a player's Pit cards, is nullified.

4. To bet a "Rubber Chicken" means to make a bet of the same value as the Round before. That is, if the initial bet of Round 1 was 1000 chips, and the first better in Round 2 also bets 1000 chips, then the Round 2 bet can be called a "Rubber Chicken" or a "Rubber Chicken bet." This is similar to "limping in" in other forms of poker, because since it is the minimum bet amount allowed, it is seen as a weak and non-aggressive play. A Rubber Chicken bet is not required to be accompanied by an actual rubber chicken, but may be for the sake of style if desired.

5. Though the base betting currency of VSWP is poker chips, any other object may be introduced into the game as a betting currency if at least 50% of the other players agree that the object should be allowed. The value of the introduced object, measured in poker chips, is determined by polling the players (excluding the player introducing the object), averaging the values they suggest, and then grudgingly accepting whatever value the Dealer decides to place on the item. (The Dealer's decision on the object's value may not be overruled.)

6. On a rainy day, play is reversed. Depending on the number of players at the table, the method of reversal is determined as follows:

• If there's an odd number of players at the table, play continues as usual, but progresses clockwise (rather than the usual counter-clockwise).
• If there is a prime number of people at the table on a rainy day, dealing order is reversed but playing order remains the same. (That is, the dealer begins dealing at the player to the left of the dealer button and continues in a clockwise direction, but the first player to play is the player to the right of the dealer button, and betting continues in a counter-clockwise direction.)
• PLEASE CLARIFY OR REVISE. THIS MAKES LITTLE PRACTICAL SENSE In all other cases play is not reversed, but randomized, where each player roll plays as the player sitting opposite them on the table. Winnings are given to the character that wins, not the player that wins.

7. Should the players not each have a full deck of Clue cards, then the players may agree to substitute M:tG cards either partially (mixing Clue and M:tG cards) or fully (utilising M:tG cards in the same way as Clue cards) in their place. In this case Creature cards will be substituted for Suspect cards, Land cards will be substituted for Room cards and Artifact cards will be substituted for Weapon cards. An example of a 'mixed' combination resulting from this would be the combination of Shivan Dragon with the Candlestick in the Forest.

8. A copy of these specialty rules, along with a list and flow chart of multipliers is to be given to the dealer/referee.

History

The commonly understood history of VSWP is that it is based on a combination of Pochspeil, a German game of bluffing and hand rankings that probably became modern Poker, and a game known only as "The Game". The Game was believed to have originated in the ancient Viking Thing, wherein council members would bet using hoards from recent raids as well as livestock (hence the addition in the modern game of "the chicken"). However, bloody feuds were common, as The Game had approximately 35 thousand unique rules, and this led to a great deal of confusion.

The synthesis of these games into Viking Poker is credited to the German-American gambler Otto von Quatch in 1989. Viking Poker introduced the Knuckle, the Flaps, and the Pants card, as the trend of the day was the incorporation of community cards. As the game never appeared in any rulebooks, it became increasingly convoluted, until the basic rule set was finally published in 2002. The custom rules that led to the game's popularity, however, are maintained on internet forums. By accepting these rules, the players must acknowledge this fact by referring to the game by its full name, Viking Secret Wildcard Poker.

Most historians dismiss this history as "about 95% total bullshit".

Notes and Terminology

• It is considered a courtesy to throw your cards at your opponents after they wtfpwned your ass as a gesture of admitting defeat.

• When a player kicks another player out of the game by taking all of their remaining chips, this is called an "under-crutch moonsault."