1337

64K gives a condensed history of video games in an effort to show that they are, in fact, 1337.

Vital Statistics

Date: October 22, 2004

Category: Music

Appearing: Graham, Jer, Morgan

Camera: Paul

Editing: Graham

Music: Jer, Graham

Writing: Jer, Graham

Location: Market Square, Flavour

Thanks To: Flavour, Kate

Synopsis

64K is back with the history of video games.

Lyrics and Trivia

GStar JP and Ice Tray
We are 64K
Been gone a while but now we’re back
On the LoadingReadyRecords with the LoadingReadyRap

We’re the quote-star-comma-eight-comma-one {1}
We’re all loaded up and we’re ready to run
To the stage To the booth And right back to the bank
We’re gonna drain the moat Because we gotta square crank {2}

We gotta boxa rhymes that simply has no bottom {3}
Try to show us new beats, but we already got’em
Shooting and ducking and dodging and gunning,
Start. Load time. And we’re running.

We’re leet, we’re the one-three-three-seven,
We’re leet, we get all the kills,
We’re leet, the one, double three plus seven,
We’re leet, cause we got the mad skills

We’re leet, that’s e-lite, we’re better than you,
From old school blocky to the shiny and new,
In the 70s Atari’s twenty-six double-zero, {4}
For the first time ever, anyone could be the hero,

In eighty-five, the famicom, {5} the N. E. S.
Sega’s master system followed by the genesis,
And nothing could compare to the power they possessed,
Until 1991… I’m talking bout the SNES

The super-nes, the SNES, the best, the big name,
With all the biggest licenses and all the biggest games,
And frame-by-frame came the fame and the acclaim,
They overcame the competition, put them all to shame,

We’re leet, we’re the one-three-three-seven,
We’re leet, our team never takes a loss,
We’re leet, the one, double three plus seven,
We’re leet, all the way to the final boss

The Saturn and the Jaguar, the 32X,
The virtual boy, the wonder-swan {6} were put to the test,
In no time flat they jumped the shark, {7}
These were the ideas that missed the mark.

But it’s not that nothing happened after 1991,
Because next came the consoles that made high school fun.
With ten times the speed, and twice as much power, {8}
We played the playstation, hour after hour.

Like a bandicoot I’ll effect your fears,
With a night symphonic and some solid metal gears,
The masters of unlocking, we got the top shop,
The fantasies are final, but the fun never stops. {9}

Another 64, this time its bits not K, {10}
It was the system with the graphics,
And the cutscenes cinematic,
Made us Goldeneye fanatics, {11}
Armed with semi-automatics,
I’m ain’t tryin’ to be dramatic,
But it blew us all away.

I never owned a console, just a PC,
I mostly bust it out with fallout 2 and Civ III, {12}
I own at both of those but I gots to say,
It’s Mech Warrior where I’ll make ya pay.

I’ll hop in a Daishi, fire in a gauss,
Load her up with missiles, and rock the whole house,
Most people sit back and use their team as a buffer,
I’d always kill mine off to make it mucho mas tougher. {13}

Number 1 in the world in a mere two weeks, {14}
You must agree, that’s hella leet.
You ask how it is I can do all this,
We’ll take it to the chorus, to show you what it is.

We’re leet, we’re the one-three-three-seven,
We’re leet, y’all know what we got,
We’re leet, the one, double three plus seven,
We’re leet, boom! Headshot. {15}

No matter what we face we don’t flinch, we’re unblinking,
We’re like the Dreamcast… >>we’re thinking<< {16}
So were the companies who raised their stocks,
With the PS2, Game Cube, and the X Box.

Strap on a jetpack, pull out the AK AK, {17}
And fly, so high, and cap em in the back,
Of the head, they’re dead, and they’re to the blame,
When we act out for real what we do in the game. {18}

Grand Theft Auto, guns, hos and cars,
Best way to be the gangsters we pretend we are,
Whatever needs doing in this land of strife,
We’re all over San Andreas, GSF-4-Life. {19}

I’m the Master Chief with double SMGs, {20}
Sneaking up behind you, I aim and squeeze,
The trigger, with ease, the flag, I seize,
And the hardest of the gamers know we all love bees. {21}

Nintendo’s GameCube, despite its very name,
Will very rarely ever release a new game, {22}
But every three months, you’d best believe,
It’s the whuppin of your life, you’re gonna receive,

Whether you’re Mario, Luigi, Zelda or Link,
Stay away from poison mushrooms, unless you want to shrink,
Super SMASH, Double DASH, {23}
Don’t even try to take us cause we’ll beat you in a flash.

We’re leet, we’re the one-three-three-seven,
We’re leet, we play with class,
We’re leet, the one, double three plus seven,
We’re leet, and we ownz joor ass

ZoneStats, GameSpy and X Box Live,
We’ll powerslide your ass through Nintendo Wi-Fi, {24}
We’ll overwrite the scores on your on-board drive,
The online next-gen you won’t survive

We don’t know what the future will hold,
But let us say this, if we may be so bold,
No matter what the system is or how it is controlled, {25}
Our mastery of games We. Will. Up. Hold.

We’re leet, we’re the one-three-three-seven,
We’re leet, and it’s a war we wage,
We’re leet, the one, double three plus seven,
We’re leet, right to the very last stage

We’re leet, that means our bawx is new,
We’re leet, that means we rox0r too,
We’re leet, that means our props is due,
We’re leet, hell, you know it’s true…

See you online, newbie… {26}

{1} Specifically: "*",8,1 or the code one types on a Commodore 64 to launch a program from disk.
{2} Early Resident Evil games featured cranks with square and hexangonal shaped heads that were used for various pruposes.
{3} Also a vague Resident Evil reference, the bottomless boxes in which you could store all your goo.
{4} For those totally out of touch, the Atari 2600 (or Atari VGC, for Video Game Console) is widely considered to be the beginning of in-home video games.
{5} Famicom: The Japanese name for the NES, released state-side in 1991.
{6} The Wonder-Swan was actually a pretty kickass handheld system, but it was really poorly marketed state-side. GameBoy for the win.
{7} "Jumping the Shark"= a sign that something has hit it's peak early and is now total suck.
{8} Yes, I actually checked. The PlayStation is 10 times as fast, and twice as powerful as the SNES.
{9} PSone game references: Crash Bandicoot, Fear Effect, Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, Metal Gear Solid, Resident Evil (again), Board Game Top Shop, (a Japanese game that no one has heard of. Kind of like a spiteful Monopoly), and, of course, Final Fantasy.
{10} The Nintendo 64, a 64bit machine, as opposed to the Commodore 64, with 64k of RAM.
{11} We played a lot of GoldenEye
{12} Morgan is a Civilization III fiend.
{13} Okay. Morgan’s MechWarrior mech featured a Daishi body type, with a gauss gun, and banks of missles. He was so good that while most players would let their team absorb fire, Morgan would kill his own team off, for more of a challenge.
{14} No shit. Morgan was #1 in the world on ZoneStats for MechWarrior4.
{15} A counter-strike reference. Oft yelled when one is achieved. “BOOM! Headshot!” Specificallya reference to purepwnage.com
{16} Sega Dreamcast’s tagline was a whispered “It’s thinking...”
{17} This is a GTA reference (hence the jetpack). We call the AK-47 the “AK AK” for its name and sound effects.
{18} Jack Thompson is a twat.
{19} Your character’s gang is GTA: San Andreas is called the “Grove Street Familes” so, GSF 4 Life!
{20} Master Chief from Halo, and my personal favourite multiplayer weapons.
{21} Referencing MicroSoft’s “ilovebees.com” viral marketing campaign/ reality game surrounding the release of Halo 2.
{22} Nintendo just doesn’t release software that often. Seriously.
{23} Super Smash Bros. Melee and Mario Kart Double Dash are big favourites around here.
{24} Nintendo is finally starting a Wi-Fi service for the DS, and releasing Mario Kart, hence the “powerslide”.
{25} “or how it is controlled” in reference to the Nintendo Revolution’s controller.
{26} u r teh gheyness, LOLZ.