Rebellin' Transcript

Transcript for Rebellin'

Transcript

Paul: {holding yogurt tub} You see, all vegetative matter is actually composed of fruit flies. That's why if you leave fruit out long enough, fruit flies will appear even if there's nothing around for miles.

Graham: {examines tub} That's so tellin'.

Paul: {sighs} Why do you have to keep doing that?

Graham: Doing what? What are you sellin'?

Morgan: {enters kitchen} Hey, how's it jellin'?

Graham: Jellin' like a felon.

Paul: {face-palms} Ah, Jesus. Hey Morgan, you're looking good. Have you been working out?

Morgan: Thanks, I've been barbellin'.

Paul: For the love of God, this has gone on too long. Every damn thing has to rhyme with {air-quotes} "jellin'", ever since you got those stupid insoles. You're driving me batshit.

Graham: He's so not jellin'.

Morgan: Nope.

Paul: You're damn right I'm not {air-quotes} "jellin'". Every time someone puts one of those into their shoes, they become part of some nightmarish clique. It's like something out of 1984.

Graham: Hey, you know what that means?

Morgan: It means we're Orwellin'!

Graham: Oh yeah! {high-fives Morgan}

Paul: {growls angrily}

Graham: So Morgan, how's the cartelin'?

Morgan: You could say business is swellin'.

Paul: For the love of God, stop! Can't you see this isn't healthy? Those insoles are somehow infecting your brain!

Morgan: What's he expellin'?

Paul: What am I expelling? Jesus, look at yourselves. Everything has changed about you. It's like you've become pod people. Really, really annoying pod people.

Graham: How about an example of what you're foretellin'?

Paul: Okay. What kind of jackets are you wearing?

Morgan: {tugs at his collar} Oh, we're lapellin'.

Graham: {opens his jacket} I'm also pastellin'.

Morgan: Nice. {high-fives Graham}

Paul: And those really expensive shoes you just bought? What are they made out of?

Morgan: {lifts up his foot} We're so gazellin'.

Paul: And your computer?

Graham: Intelin'.

Paul: And your girlfriend?

Morgan: Helen McClellan.

Paul: And where did you just move to?

Graham: We're dwellin' motelin'.

Paul: {incredulous} You moved into a motel when it's three times as expensive as what your landlord charges you, and is farther away from both of your jobs!

Graham: That argument's compellin'.

Morgan: Seems Paul's like Cornellin'.

Paul: What does that even mean?!

Morgan: Physicist Eric Cornellin'.

Graham: With Prizes Nobellin'.

Paul: Will you please just end a Goddamn sentence without rhyming with {air-quotes} "jellin'"?

Graham: Would you quit your yellin'?

Morgan: Yeah, seems like non-jellin' rebellin'?

Graham: Paul's finally out of his shellin'.

Paul: Seriously, that got old ten seconds after it started, and that was months ago.

Graham: Maybe we should be quellin' his rebellin'.

Paul: 'Kay, this is gonna stop one way or another.

Morgan: Uh-oh, his temper is swellin'.

Graham: And do I see tears wellin'?

Paul: I'm dead serious. You guys have been great friends, but if you don't stop soon, I'm gonna snap and do something extreme.

Graham: Uh-oh, sounds like death is cow-bellin'.

Morgan: Yeah, that's some serious death knellin'.

Graham: If we don't stop, we could be befellin'.

Morgan: Maybe we should do some farewellin'.

Paul: {starting to fume} You're serious? You believe me, and you're still going on?

Graham: But you'd end up a felon.

Morgan: Yeah, you'd be caught in Bridewellin'.

Graham: Nice British slang, seems your mind is ink-wellin'.

Morgan: Thanks, we could run away and farm in the dellin'.

Graham: We could raise snap-dragons and be speedwellin'.

Morgan: And avoid going to hellin'.

Graham: I wonder how speedwells are sellin'.

Paul: {finally snapping} AARRGH! I WILL MURDER YOU, BOTH OF YOU, AGAIN AND AGAIN! AAARRGHH! {storms out the kitchen}

Graham: Whoa...

Morgan: Paul's been a bit bombshellin'.

Graham: Yeah, hope we don't get caught in the blast when he goes shrapnellin'. {beat} Has he gone?

Morgan: Yeah, seems we're repellin'.

Graham: {sighs} Good. Serves him right for screwing me on that bet.

Morgan: Yeah, this plan was compellin'.

Graham: Yeah you can, you can stop now.

Morgan: I, I thought I did. {hands Graham a cup} Hey, you want a smoothie? It's melon.