The Mirror Transcript

Transcript for The Mirror

Transcript

{Scene opens in Paul's bathroom where immediately we see Graham looking out through the mirror.}

Graham: Paul! Paul, come here!

{Paul, who's obviously just woken up, comes into the bathroom, rubbing his eyes.}

Graham: Paul!

{Paul looks up and jumps back in alarm when he sees Graham. He puts on his glasses and takes a closer look.}

Paul: Graham?! Is- What the hell?

Graham: Sweet, eh?

Paul: What- What's going on?

Graham: Okay, I know this might sound a little weird...

Paul: Well, yeah.

Graham: I'm in the mirror.

Paul: {disbelievingly} You're messing with me.

Graham: No really, I'm in the mirror! Okay, I don't know how this happened. I was brushing my teeth this morning, and then like there was this big white flash, and suddenly I'm in the mirror. Like, {air-quotes} "the mirror dimension"! ... 'Kay, you know the story, Alice Through the Looking Glass?

Paul: Okay, yeah.

Graham: Yeah, it's like that! Only there's no Jabberwocky.

Paul: Oh, yeah that's good.

Graham: {mutters indecipherably} Yeah. But like, it's amazing here! I mean, things aren't just reversed like physically. Like, they're reversed in like logic and reason as well. Like over here, Hitler is actually a cool guy!

Paul: {scoffs} Really?

Graham: Yeah! And uh, Nickelback? Good band!

Paul: Really?

Graham: Yeah!

Paul: What about Creed?

Graham: They still suck.

Paul: Huh.

Graham: Yeah. Transcend time and dimension. But I mean, yeah it's so cool. {picks up mirror cookie and starts eating it}

Paul: So uh... Hey, what are you doing in my mirror bathroom?

Graham: Well, I... I needed to talk to you.

Paul: Wait, you eating one of my mirror cookies?

Graham: Well, I gotta eat something!

Paul: Bastard...

{Graham puts the mirror cookie down again}

Graham: But uh, I mean all sorts of stuff is cool. Like uh, like... {looks down at shirt} My shirt is backwards! Like, the text, backwards!

Paul: That's 'cos you're in the mirror.

Graham: Yeah, 'kay, I know I'm in the mirror, but like, it actually looks backward, like to me!

Paul: Oh! Cool! So does it look forwards when you look in a mirror?

Graham: Fun fact: In Mirror Land, like the mirror dimension, mirrors don't actually work.

Paul: Hmm.

Graham: Yeah, interesting trivia.

Paul: So um, have you met anyone in the mirror universe?

Graham: Yeah! Everyone here is really nice! In fact, there's this one girl that I've had a crush on for like a month and a half, but never asked out in UniVic? And you know like, she asked me out! Yeah, we're gonna see the new Jerry Bruckheimer romantic comedy on the weekend. I think the date's gonna go pretty well!

Paul: Huh... What about, um... you know... {points to crotch} thingy?

Graham: {looks puzzled and slightly nervous} Thingy?

Paul: You know, nudge-nudge, wink-wink?

Graham: Oh, uh... Ooh! {looks completely horrified}

Paul: ...'Cos uh, 'cos that's gonna be backwards too, right?

Graham: Out! I want out now! Now! Move, move, move! Now! Move! Coming through!

{Paul quickly jumps out of the way as, with a flash of light and a sound effect courtesy of Myst, Graham leaps out the mirror and back into our world.}

Graham: {sighs in relief} Whew! {turns around to look in the mirror}

Paul: You okay?

Graham: Yeah, thanks. I'm gonna grab some cookies, those mirror cookies were mmm! {leaves the bathroom}

Paul: Don't eat all of them! Bastard... {looks in the mirror and straightens his hair}