Poker Before Dusk

Can Elway catch the balls short of a flip pair, or will Lamont pull out an under-crutch moonsault?

Vital Statistics

Date: January 26, 2009

Category: Shorts

Appearing: Paul Saunders, Bill Watt, Jeremy Petter, James Turner [with Kathleen De Vere and Mike Whitaker]

Narration: Graham Stark, Morgan vanHumbeck

Writing: Graham Stark

Shooting: Graham Stark

Editing: Graham Stark

Vegas Footage: From "Trippin' Vegas" by Karl Klops | CC Sharealike

Synopsis

On Poker Before Dusk on Action 9, it is No Limit Viking Secrete Wild Card Poker.

Script

POKER TV

RICH Welcome back to The Kublai Khan Casino and Resort Hotel and Sports Bar and Spa here in beautiful downtown Les Vegas, where what stays in Vegas, stays in Vegas. I’m Rich Murdoch, and as always I’m joined by former Xtreme Poker Super Ninja Champion, Danny Freiberg.

DANNY Always a pleasure, Rich. Today’s Cinderella story is Franklin Elway, a simple cattle mulcher from north-eastern Westbank, who has been surprising us all today.

RICH Darn right, Danny. Elway flipped the knob straight on a wide elbow in the first round, and caught the balls short of a flip pair with a narrow flush in the second. Let’s see if he can continue his streak and nut flop a tilt on his backhand here in round three, at our feature table.

DANNY Well, we’re joining the table already in action, and the table is no-limit Viking secret wildcard poker. Right now Elway is trailing 25-thousand to 38.6-billion against the newcomer, Desmond Lamont.

RICH Here’s the deal. Lamont gets an Ace of clubs, and a joker which doesn’t help him much, because of course in Viking Secret Wildcard Poker jokers are anti-wild, and may lead to a squashed spin if another one comes up on the flaps.

DANNY Elway however gets a king of diamonds and Mrs. Bun the baker’s wife, so he’s already in a very good position for a spin flush.

RICH Play is to Lamont, who bets 2000. Over to Elway who takes his time to see that bet. Both men check, and it’s onto the knuckle.

KNUCKLE TURNS UP A MAGIC CARD

RICH No help to either player with Elder Dragon Legend Vaevictis Asmadi, there.

DANNY That’s a real shame for Elway there, because Chromium might have actually helped him, despite his lack of mana. Looks like he’s still betting though.

ELWAY BETS WITH A RUBBER CHICKEN

RICH And Lamont wastes no time in seeing that bet, despite having… let’s face it, not a great hand.

LAMONT BETS WITH SOMETHING

DANNY Both men check, and it’s time for the flaps.

DEALER LAYS OUT FOUR VARIOUS CARDS

RICH Look at that! The three of clubs, the eight of hearts, William Riker and the Candlestick. That really evens up the playing field. Play is to Elway.

DANNY Wow. Lamont is clearly confident that he has the better hand and he’s put Elway in a tight spot. I wouldn’t be surprised if Lamont pulls out a full under-crutch moonsault.

RICH You said it Danny. Elway’s going to have to decide if he should hold the knobs steady, cut the straight along his outside felch, or scrump all his grits in one trug and go ahead with the check.

ELWAY Check.

LAMONT Spin.

ELWAY Alpha.

LAMONT Double Indemnity.

ELWAY Splish.

LAMONT Splash.

ELWAY Twist.

LAMONT Flip.

ELWAY (Pause) Gargle.

DANNY Oh my god Rich, this is astounding! We haven’t seen a twist-flip-gargle play since 1972 at Constantine’s Palace! Lamont put Elway into a back-ended flip, and Elway did not back down!

RICH Both men have a roughly equal chance at this point, so it all comes down to the Pants Card.

DANNY Here’s the deal…

DEALER TURNS UP A FOUR-COLOUR UNO CARD

DANNY Uno!!!

RICH And it’s all over. Against all the odds, Elway has done it! He crunched a heavy twist, let Lamont flip his gargle, and it completely paid off. The winner: Franklin Elway, your Super Mecha-Godzilla Viking Champion for 2008, and forever!

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